Severe stress, especially that which occurs at an early age and is intense enough to have a lasting effect, can lead young people to ignore their internal centers of self affirmation and selfcontrol, and seek outside approval as a means of creating a safe environment, reinforcing their selfworth, and defining their identities.

Signs of Severe Stress

• dependence on others for feelings of worth and identity
• feelings determined by outside events
• search for validation from outside self
• repression of feelings and emotions
• refusal to communicate feelings
• denial of pain
• repression of memory
• state of constant crisis
• assumption that stress is normal
• use of crises as distraction from emotional pain
• maintenance of relationships with "needy" people
• inability to say "no"
• tendency toward isolation
• lack of confidence in own judgment
• sense of being "alone" in group
• need to appear emotionally strong and not in need of help
• sense of shame
• selfneglect
• inability to set limits
• perfectionism
• possessiveness
• maintenance of relationships with abusive people
• passive formation of friendships
• assumption of others' responsibilities
• over extension

How to Help

• express feelings and concerns without judgment
• listen with respect and understanding
• recognize and reflect the person's strengths and positivebehaviors whenever possible
• seek professional help

Sources of Help

• private health care provider
• member of clergy
• school counselor
• social service agency
• Spokane Mental Health .................................. (509)-838-4651